Stupid answers to stupid interview questions
Posted by Mitch on 27th February 2015
Ever since Google announced/admitted that asking oblique interview questions was a pile of horseshit (my words, not theirs) lots of companies have climbed off the ‘Everything Google Does Is Brilliant’ bandwagon and have gone back to asking candidates where they see themselves in 5 years.
But if you’re unlucky enough to interview at a company that missed that press release, here’s some suggested answers to some of these questions:
How would you explain a database in three sentences to your eight year-old nephew? “He already knows more about database technology than me. This job isn’t in IT is it?”
How do you stack a dishwasher? “I take the clean stuff out first.”
Why are manhole covers round? “Because the holes are round.”
Pepsi or Coke? “No thanks. Have you seen the shit they put in that stuff?”
If you won the lottery, would you quit working? “Depends where I was working.”
OK, let’s say you were working here. “Yes.”
What was the last book you read? “How To Deal With Dumb Interview Questions.”
You’re not taking this seriously, are you? “You started it.”
In case you’re now thinking to yourself “hang on, how are these answers going to help me ace the interview?”, they’re not. That’s kind of the point.
Happy job hunting.